In traditional Congolese culture, men are seen as superior to women. This power imbalance affects day-to-day life for women in Congo\u2014in relationships, marriage, inheritance, employment, and their physical safety. The way women are perceived creates an ongoing threat to their wellbeing. Sons of Congo seeks to break these traditional views by teaching and encouraging men to think differently about what it means to be a man, husband and father, and the program addresses trauma that men have been suffering in silence with.<\/p>\n
While visiting Africa New Day in Goma, DRC, I sat down with Sons of Congo participants and their wives.<\/p>\n
Bitondo, a woman in her 60s, told me, \u201cI am happy with the training, but I wish it existed when I was younger, when my husband was younger.\u201d A mother of nine children, she felt her husband and their family missed out on the positive impact the program could have had in their lives for many years, but was still grateful for the change she saw in her husband Jean Paul.<\/p>\n
Jean Paul, her husband, agreed. Through Sons of Congo he learned, for example, that it wasn\u2019t good to, \u201ctorture a woman when she is carrying your child.\u201d Jean Paul said, \u201cI wish I had learned some of these lessons before my first child was born.\u201d<\/p>\n
[su_quote]Men beat their wives to show their power and to show women that they are inferior.<\/strong><\/span>[\/su_quote]<\/p>\n I asked him to clarify, what he meant by \u201ctorture.\u201d Jean Paul explained, \u201cWe are taught that women can\u2019t talk. You, as a man, have to be the authority and show women where they belong, under men. There are some parts of this country where a man and a woman cannot eat together. The woman has to eat by herself away from the man. Even when they are pregnant, you sometimes force her to do physical labor, beat her, yell at her.\u201d<\/p>\n I asked the group, whether it was very common for men to beat their wives, for them to \u201ctorture their wives?\u201d Everyone laughed and responded with a resounding, \u201cyes, very very<\/em><\/span> common.\u201d Jean Paul explained, \u201cmen beat their wives to show their power, to show the difference between men and women and to show their women that they are inferior.\u201d<\/p>\n
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<\/a>When I asked the group whether men stopped beating their wives after going through the Sons of Congo program, they all responded \u201cyes.\u201d Jean Paul said he also used to beat his children, even when they were fully grown. \u201cI used to think that I had to beat my kids to teach them lessons when they did something wrong, and to show my power over them. But through the Sons of Congo program, I now realize it is better to show your children kindness, love, and support.\u201d <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.jww.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/SonsofCongo-HappyFamily1000-300x225.jpg\")
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